is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize