Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
