so explain again why im purple
no
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
