Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I did not marry a roomba.
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