dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
