my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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