I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
