so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize