So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize