I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
