It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
