i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
