My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize