so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am available for nakedness
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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