As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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