Duck Duck Cougar?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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