Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
