all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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