yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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