I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
