Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
from now on my penis is your penis
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
