So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we're making bets on your personal life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
