So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
