I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
