big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
