My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
