he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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