oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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