TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
