It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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