college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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