Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
