Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize