I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
