Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
