508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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