I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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