I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
