is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
