i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
