I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize