haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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