Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
