i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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