i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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