I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
