My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
