There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
