8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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