Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
