I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
how does that bad decision feel?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
