Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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