Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
