im having a threesome with these popsicles
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
