You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
