My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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