who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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