last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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