At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
