Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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