If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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