she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
