Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
