if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
