after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
