You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
