did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
