Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize