i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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