I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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