Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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