I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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